Be yourself: Whoever is meant to be in your life will be


Fatima Rosales

Love is a journey, there is no rush. Graphic by Fatima Rosales.

Dear Denis,

I’m really into this girl but I don’t know when it’s safe to make my move as she recently got out of a relationship. I want her to find herself and love herself first, and I want to give her space. It is essential. However, she is moving away soon and I don’t want to miss my chance because I don’t know if she’s ever going to come back or not. Even if she isn’t, she’ll be unforgettable in my life. We are friends but we hardly see each other as often as we used to. Aside from small talk, we don’t interact much. I get nervous when I’m around her and never know what to say. I always end up freezing and not being able to chat. She is the most beautiful person that I have met and the most brilliant individual. Always trying to improve intellectually, and she does it with a bright smile that radiates the room. What should I do? I will keep in touch with her but I want to be close friends with her. I just get too nervous.

– Angel


Dear Angel,

Thanks so much for sharing this with me.

You are so thoughtful for saying that she should have some space since she recently got out of a relationship, because that is true in most cases. I must say that the end of a relationship looks different depending on the situation and the people involved. So she might be going through a hard time right now, or she could be completely fine.

The best way to figure out how she is taking the end of her previous relationship is by checking on her, being there for her as a friend, and continuing the communication between you two. Knowing how she is doing will help you figure out if now is the right time to make a move.

It’s normal to get nervous sometimes around people we like, but what is the root of this nervousness? Do you feel like you might say the wrong thing? Do you feel like she might not like the way you are? There is often a reason behind our feelings and actions, but sometimes we need to look more inward to figure out what’s behind those emotions.

I am sorry she is moving away soon. That must not be easy for you. However, I believe a lot of the people we meet are not supposed to be in our lives forever and that is OK. Some people are in our lives for that period of time that is needed for us to grow certain parts of ourselves. Maybe she is that for you, or maybe this is not the end but the beginning of something bigger.

I think you should tell her that you want to be in her life in whatever capacity she can allow you to, even if she is moving away. It’s very important to let people in our lives know how much we care about them and how precious they are. No matter what happens between you two in the future, she should know how highly you think of her and that you want the best for her.

The situation you are in could be tough, but remember to always be yourself and whoever is meant to be in your life will be. I wish you the best of luck!

Love always,