Why is it hard to find intimate connections without committing?


Fatima Rosales

Sit down and have a heart to heart. Graphic by Fatima Rosales.

Dear Denis,

I am not looking for love. But why is it so hard to find intimate connections without all the commitment?



Dear Angel,

I believe creating intimate connections does require some sort of commitment in all cases, but the difference is the type of commitment you agree on. Yes, I said “agree,” because it’s so important to communicate with the other person, regardless of the type of connection you decide to have. You should voice what you want and what you need so there aren’t misunderstandings.

Commitment is when you dedicate something to someone. Even if you aren’t looking for love and you might not want to commit fully to someone, you are still committing your time to them and whatever else you share with this person.

What does connection mean to you?

Another thing you should think about is what type of intimate connection you want to have with this person. There are different types of intimate connections you can have such as physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. That is also why defining and sharing what you really want is essential.

People need and want different things and that is OK. The other person might not know or want the type of intimate connection that you are looking for and they might expect things from you that you are not willing or able to give. That is why certain connections might feel hard to keep up with and could be draining to your energy.

Remember that whatever connection you decide to have, it should bring you peace.

Love always,